ProMomme: A Sex Worker’s Guide to Parenting. This publication asks “What do erotic labor and child rearing have in common?” and “How do these (normally unpaid) private practices inform one another?” In response, ProMomme offers poetic, honest, and practical looks into the experiences of parents who work in the adult industry, challenging societal impulses to separate Madonna from Whore.
Julia: No one really has an opinion on people who work in accounting other than it sounds really boring unless you really love spreadsheets and sleepless nights in the spring. However, if you are a sex worker, there is immediately an inherent stigma; people will have opinions, questions, and often the nerve to give unsolicited advice. From countless conversations I’ve had with individuals in various professions under the umbrella of sex work, these individuals have to constantly battle societal assumptions of victimhood or carelessness, making them continually defend their adult life decisions while being treated like children. This perpetual need to defend one's choices often leads to emotional and psychological strain, requiring individuals in the sex work industry to endure a pressure rarely seen in other professions.
God forbid you would consider parenthood as a sex worker. What could you possibly know about the world as someone who charges people to spend time with you? Let me tell you—a tremendous amount. Society often fails to understand the complexities and agency involved in choosing this profession. But you’ve seen humanity at its most vulnerable. You are more prepared for parenthood than most because you have been a caregiver in your work. You’ve navigated other people’s shame, inadequacies, firsts, joys, tantrums, and had to find ways to not only manage your own emotions but also to exist in a society with deeply ingrained biases and prejudices towards individuals involved in the sex industry, particularly when it comes to their roles as caregivers. Ironically, this is precisely what you’ve done more of than anyone accusing you of the opposite.
I hope this series serves as a love letter to parents, and a reminder that regardless of profession or societal judgment, the core of parenting lies in the commitment to nurture and care not only for your own children, but also yourself.
